Diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) efforts often meet resistance—whether from individuals, organizations, or entire communities. This resistance can stem from misunderstandings, fear of change, or even deliberate opposition. Instead of seeing pushback as an immovable barrier, a relational approach rooted in empathy can open pathways for dialogue and transformation.

Why Do People Resist DEI? Understanding the Root Causes

Resistance to DEI is rarely about the initiatives themselves. More often, it arises from deeply held beliefs, misinformation, or a sense of loss—whether perceived or real. Some common sources of pushback include:

• Fear of Displacement: Some individuals worry that DEI initiatives will reduce opportunities for them or change workplace dynamics in ways they find unsettling. This can also stem from a perceived threat to status or identity, where individuals feel that DEI initiatives challenge their social standing or personal identity within the organization. Research from the Harvard Business Review highlights that some employees resist DEI due to concerns about their place in evolving workplace structures (HBR, 2024).

• Misinformation: Political and media narratives often misrepresent DEI, fueling misconceptions that it is about exclusion rather than inclusion.

• Change Fatigue: In organizations already experiencing multiple shifts, DEI efforts can feel like just another mandate rather than a meaningful transformation.

• Defensiveness: Conversations about privilege or systemic inequities can trigger discomfort, making people shut down rather than engage.

How Relational DEI Fosters Understanding Without Judgment

Rather than countering resistance with facts alone, relational DEI recognizes that meaningful change happens through human connection. By approaching skepticism with curiosity instead of confrontation, we create opportunities for trust and growth. Here’s how:

1. Listen Without Judgment

When someone expresses skepticism or frustration with DEI, an empathetic response—rather than immediate correction—can foster dialogue. Phrases like “Say more about that”—the title of a book by DEI expert Amber Cabral—invite deeper discussion instead of defensive reactions. In her book, Cabral emphasizes the power of intentional conversations to foster understanding and bridge divides, making this simple phrase a valuable tool for engaging resistant stakeholders.

2. Recognize Emotional Responses

Resistance is often rooted in emotion, not logic. Acknowledging the feelings behind pushback can make individuals feel heard rather than dismissed. Many individuals may feel anxiety, fear, or frustration when discussing DEI, especially if they believe it challenges their personal experiences or worldview. Creating space for these emotions without invalidating them is crucial. Asking open-ended questions and demonstrating active listening can help ease defensiveness and encourage deeper engagement in the conversation.

3. Build on Shared Values

Instead of framing DEI as a divisive topic, connecting it to universally valued principles—fairness, respect, and opportunity—can make it more relatable and less polarizing. Many people already believe in the importance of being fair and treating others with respect. Framing DEI in a way that aligns with these existing values helps make the conversation more accessible. For example, instead of focusing solely on systemic issues, leaders can highlight how inclusive practices lead to stronger collaboration, innovation, and overall workplace satisfaction. Finding common ground ensures that DEI is seen as a shared goal rather than a contested one.

4 Proven Steps to Engage Resistant Stakeholders

To move from resistance to engagement, consider these actionable steps:

1. Meet People Where They Are: Understand the concerns and perspectives of those resistant to DEI before responding.

2. Reframe the Narrative: Shift the focus from what people fear losing to what everyone gains—stronger teams, better collaboration, and inclusive workplaces that benefit all.

3. Use Storytelling: Personal stories often resonate more than statistics. Sharing lived experiences can help skeptics see the human side of DEI.

4. Encourage Small Steps: Not everyone will embrace DEI immediately. Encourage small, meaningful actions that make inclusion more tangible over time.

Reflection: How Can Empathy Change the DEI Conversation?

Think about a time you encountered resistance to DEI—whether in a conversation, a workplace setting, or elsewhere. How did you respond? Looking back, how might an empathetic approach have changed the outcome?

Join the Conversation

Share your thoughts in the comments here or on the This is DEI LinkedIn page. Let’s explore together how relational DEI can turn resistance into understanding and progress.